People talk a lot about the need to find balance. I'm not really sure what that means other than it must mean I haven't. You see, I have a life. Of course, if you are reading this, you do as well. But what I mean by saying "I have a life" is that "life, uh, finds a way" (Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park, by Michael Crichton), life gets in the way (how many people have said that??), and stercus accidit.
As an aside, I'll attribute that last quote to my undergraduate science philosophy professor who handed out his syllabus on the first day, as all good professors do. On the last page it said, "sh*t happens" and not to leave things to the last minute. No kidding.
Now, it's not that I'm not writing. I am. I am up to just over 50 pages on one of two case studies and am hopeful I will figure out what I want to say in the next day or so ("The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is that you really want to say," Mark Twain). So while I thought I would have had ample time to prepare a well crafted, publishable draft to my supervisor last week ("I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead," Mark Twain), now it will be less polished and longer. I am eternally hopeful that my supervisor will give me some solid slash-and-burn advice that I can apply to this and the second case.
Being on leave from teaching also gives people the impression that without having all that full time work, without the piles of marking you hear teachers groan about ad nauseam, that I would have nothing else to do during the week other than write up my dissertation. I think they think that I should have been done as of, well, yesterday. Well, that hasn't happened. Sandwich generation, here. I run errands. I take people to appointments. I bake treats. I do the odd leadership job. I eat chocolates. There are other things to do. So, my well planned out daytime work has been getting hijacked. You see... life ("Life? Don't talk to me about life." Marvin the robot, HHGTTG by Douglas Adams).
I am now beginning to think that perhaps the decisions I made to help me find balance may have backfired:
Now that the first month of my leave is just about over, I must confess that I am beginning to feel stress. That's good, right? Maybe now I'll hit my stride...
As an aside, I'll attribute that last quote to my undergraduate science philosophy professor who handed out his syllabus on the first day, as all good professors do. On the last page it said, "sh*t happens" and not to leave things to the last minute. No kidding.
Now, it's not that I'm not writing. I am. I am up to just over 50 pages on one of two case studies and am hopeful I will figure out what I want to say in the next day or so ("The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is that you really want to say," Mark Twain). So while I thought I would have had ample time to prepare a well crafted, publishable draft to my supervisor last week ("I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead," Mark Twain), now it will be less polished and longer. I am eternally hopeful that my supervisor will give me some solid slash-and-burn advice that I can apply to this and the second case.
Being on leave from teaching also gives people the impression that without having all that full time work, without the piles of marking you hear teachers groan about ad nauseam, that I would have nothing else to do during the week other than write up my dissertation. I think they think that I should have been done as of, well, yesterday. Well, that hasn't happened. Sandwich generation, here. I run errands. I take people to appointments. I bake treats. I do the odd leadership job. I eat chocolates. There are other things to do. So, my well planned out daytime work has been getting hijacked. You see... life ("Life? Don't talk to me about life." Marvin the robot, HHGTTG by Douglas Adams).
I am now beginning to think that perhaps the decisions I made to help me find balance may have backfired:
- I decided not to work on it at night - this may have been an error as I generally hit my stride at 3 am;
- I decided not to work on my dissertation on weekends - I should have also given up other work as discussed with others I know who finished their doctorates!
Now that the first month of my leave is just about over, I must confess that I am beginning to feel stress. That's good, right? Maybe now I'll hit my stride...